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I’m that girl who reads almost every relationship book on the Christian market. I’m that girl who loves Jesus, and fervently desires to get married, have children, and continue to serve in ministry for the rest of my days.But these good, God-honoring desires have been, by and large, unfulfilled. At times, I’ve felt overlooked and like I was missing out on all the fun of dating. In this article I am going to call it “dating” and define it as “the process of finding a spouse.” I do not claim to be an expert: I realize that many varying opinions about dating float around Christian circles jumping over each other, getting mixed together, and consuming some people. You wish it could happen soon but it completely freaks you out. Some people call this dating, other people call it courting — there are likely countless terms you could use for the process.), or if it’s better to wait until a man—my man— pursues me with the intention of marriage. I’ve realized by personal experience and by observing the dating (or non-dating) lives of the Christian adults around me that many of us are relationally stunted. We don’t know how to date, because we’ve never done it or we’ve never done it right. From the very first chapter, the authors set up the premise that they are, in some ways, addressing the “kiss dating good-bye” approach promoted just a couple years before was released in the year 2000.

Male leadership wasn’t the result of the Fall, but of creation (as Genesis implies and Paul makes clear in 1 Timothy 2). Clean your act up today, not "when" The lie is that once you find the right girl, all your problems will go away—you just need the right motivation, right? If Jesus isn’t motivation enough to grow in maturity and pursue godliness, then you are not ready to pursue a woman. Joshua 1:8 says, “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.” Every man needs to realize that he will only be worth following if he follows God.

In most aspects of modern life, God doesn’t provide cookie-cutter answers or formulas.

But be encouraged, though He may not always provide us with the direct plan, He always gives us everything we need to get where He wants us to go.

Know what you’re doing and either stick with the plan or go somewhere safe, where you’re in the sight of others (particularly others who respect the need for purity).

You can still have a private conversation even in a room full of people.

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